OT: I dug up a Wikipedia article that had been deleted or something. I thought you guys may be amused.

My uncle once said, "Boy, do you see that horse?"

Yessir.
"How many legs does that horse have?"

Four.
"Now what if I say that a horse's tail is a leg, too?"

Uh...
"If I call a horse's tail a leg, how many legs does that horse have?"

Five?
"Boy, will you never learn? It doesn't matter what you call something. That horse still has four legs."


Sometimes when confronted with a difficult challenge we reply, That's not true! We say, That's not a (vanity page)/(rant)/(personal attack)/(tail); that's a (noteworthy article)/(discussion)/(polite comment)/(leg). But this changes nothing.

It's never enough to reply to a comment by saying You're wrong! That's not true! If it really is a leg, then show us how.




Contents [hide]
1 Examples
1.1 Proof that a horse has, in fact, an infinite number of legs
1.2 Very well, you say it does not have five legs: I say it has nine!
1.3 The longer you count, the more legs a horse has
2 Beating a dead horse
3 On the other hoof...
4 See also
5 References



[edit] Examples

THERE! Now the horse has no legs!!!
[edit] Proof that a horse has, in fact, an infinite number of legs
A horse has four legs
It has forelegs at the front
It has two legs at the rear
Four plus two is six, thus it has six legs
Six is an odd number of legs for a horse
Four is an even number
The only number which is both even and odd is infinity
Therefore: a horse has an infinite number of legs

[edit] Very well, you say it does not have five legs: I say it has nine!
No horse has five legs.
Any horse has four legs more than no horse does.
Therefore, a horse has nine legs.

[edit] The longer you count, the more legs a horse has
A horse has four legs
It has two forelegs at the front and two hind legs in the back. This makes it 4.
It has two legs on the left side and two legs on the right side. This totals 8.
It also has four perfectly visible legs from below. Now we have 12 of them.
And we haven't even started counting legs on each corner!
When arguing, make sure you add really new legs to your stand.


[edit] Beating a dead horse
Some editors are so convinced that the horse has five legs that they will continue to return to the issue long after everybody else has accepted the consensus view that horses have four legs. Many of the most dedicated proponents of the five-leg school will assert that fivelegism is as valid a view as fourlegism, and that fourlegism is only a point of view. Often they will continue this to the point where they are, in truth, beating the bloody smear where the dead horse once lay.


[edit] On the other hoof...
If someone is writing about a horse that has five legs then, as tedious and boring as it may be, it is a good idea to check the references and reasons they have written about it. It may just be there was a genetic manipulation or surgical graft. Just because the only horses you have encountered have had four legs, doesn't mean that a five legged horse might not exist. An encyclopaedia exists for you to learn: don't assume omniscience on your part.

Aside from barn drama...

Berky and I had a nice ride. I've been tormenting myself without stirrups lately in attempt to make myself a little less pathetic for upcoming lessons. I switched back to the regular eggbutt snaffle because he's been well behaved and the corkscrew kills his gums.

Warmed up long and low both ways, trotted 20m circles in frame, worked on bend. He's so stiff tracking right and I've had to really work to keep him from drifting his hip out in corners....Anyways, got some nice flexion, did some leg yeilding to loosen him up, and then went to no stirrups for a while. He's really behind my leg most of the time- laziest OTTB I've ever ridden. Another thing we have to work on...

Corneal ulcer blues, da da da da-dum.

One of the horses at the barn is in danger of losing her cornea due to, in my opinion, gross negligence on her owner's part. Karen (barn manager), Dr. Merrick, Brittany, and most of the boarders have been chipping in with the treatment while her owner has been unsettingly hard to reach. As far as I know, Karen's footing the bill until the owner can reimburse her.

The past few days, Karen, Dr. M, and I have been rotating "shifts" giving her her medication (banamine, blood serum, stuff Karen and I call the "Purple Top Bottle," antifungal cream, antibiotics, and some other stuff I can't pronounce) and her eye looked like it was doing better, until last night when her owner stopped by the barn, said they would take over treatment during the night, and evidently did not. Instead, they proceeded to LONGE HER OVER JUMPS, according to the security cameras and "eyewitness reports." Astounding.

This morning, I came to the barn and Karen was looking in her eye about to give her her serum. Annie's cornea was starting to slough off. Karen called the vet and we all kind of kept our fingers crossed while Karen dosed her every few minutes. When the vet got out, the deterioration had been arrested, but Dr. Merrick said it could really swing either way at this point. We got a whole bunch of fun new medication and have to treat her every twenty minutes until she is back to normal.

The thing is, this involves her being taken care of all hours of the day. None of the boarders can afford to spend the night out at the barn indefinitely, and it is absolutely unreasonable to make Karen take on that responsibility. Aggressive treatment on the owner's part is the only option, and all of us have the sinking feeling that it isn't going to happen. Either that or a $6,000 stay MINIMUM at Gainesville for hospitalization....

This weekend, I am going to be giving Annie serum as often as possible and Karen and Brittany (her daughter who works at the barn as well) are going to handle the sticky stuff. They usually take the weekends off, but it looks like their generosity is going to get taken advantage of yet again. Some people make me sick. I really, really hope Annie doesn't lose her vision..this has really become a "labor of love" for everyone at the barn.

A touch of...masochism, perhaps?

Harassed Berky with his new hoof dressing and Surpass for a while today and then went out to the somewhat sloggy arena to do some walk-trot. He's really starting to use himself better tracking left, but he's stiff going right. Nice flexion at the poll, worked on some bending and a potato-like circle. Only rode in earnest for thirty minutes, maybe.

He keeps getting knots in his neck, and while they seem to have gotten better over the past few days of correct riding and massaging, it is really starting to bother me. If they're still there in a few days, I'll have to call out the equine massage therapist.

Anyways, I got the bright idea to drop my stirrups when we were walking out since my leg is so weak and ended up extending our ride for quite a while. Posting walk was miserable, but not as bad as I thought it would be given my time off. Two-point (link for Tyler or other nonhorsey people) without stirrups was ten times worse- I could barely get my fat butt out of the saddle and my knee angle was all but nonexistant. Needless to say, I spent about twenty minutes attempting to hold it, so my legs are killing me. Picked up stirrups and held two-point again for ten minutes to build up my calves, and then called it a day.

Berky didn't seem to mind my varying degrees of floppiness- in fact, I had my reins on the buckle so I couldn't lean on him, and he was slogging around like a western pleasure horse, as compared to the dressage (only, not Grand Prix, obviously. More like training level..if that.) movement we obviously work for.

For Tyler: Flying dressage horses. ( Haute Ecole) Or, flying dressage horses under saddle!

I feel like adding "yo" onto a title. So here we go: Slopping around, yo.

Stupid rain. I hate Florida weather. Anyways, went out to the barn to torment Berky some today. Rode mostly in the dressage arena at a walk/trot and fiddled with his headset (ergh). I hate riding new horses in there so much- I feel like if something happened, I would have nowhere to contain them. No issue after I know how the horse reacts in the fenced arena, but until then...

Have I told you how much I hate his corkscrew snaffle? I'm riding in it per Allanah's reccommendation, but I have a hard time getting him to relax in it. I'd almost rather ride in a short-shank low port pelham with just the snaffle rein for a while and add the curb rein later. Meh.

Tomorrow he starts his Adequan series for his hocks. I get to hang out all morning at the barn while I wait for the vet. Fun, fun. At least he'll be a little more comfortable. His arthritis is so mild that it's more prevention and maintenance than anything else.

PS-
Don't forget your towel!

The Lakes at Millenium Stables!

My barn manager has recently dubbed the barn "The Lakes at Millennium Stables." All but one psture is completely underwater, and not by just a few inches. A few have over two feet of standing water sitting in them; one, which had a bone-dry ditch running through it, is not only under water but has filled the ditch and has a PVC pipe from someone's plumbing sitting in it. Needless to say, they are not being used.

We pulled up to the barn today and were greeted by the daytime-pastured girls who were grazing in the area around the fenced in barn/driveway. The stable itself had been blocked off so the horses couldn't get in.

Anyways, I hopped over the barricade, unlocked the tack room, and got Berky out of his stall. He was not as filthy as I was expecting, although he had stocked up in his pasterns from not being exercised in a week. (It went away after I hand walked him a little.) I had made him cookies, so I used those for our stretches then tied him up. He had a huge knot on the other side of his neck and near his shoulder.. I have no idea what he does to himself. I spent a good forty-five minutes massaging them out while he dozed. Berkshire is the most attention-loving horse I have ever met- when I would take a break from rubbing him, he'd stare after me, and when I'd lean against the post and talk to Maddie (who had Jack tied next to me while the saddle fitter checked him over), he'd all but put his head in my lap.

Obviously, it was too wet to do much of anything strenuous. We went out to the only half-flooded dressage arena with another rider and worked on 20m circles on the bit and long and low for all of fifteen minutes. The mares started coming in over the low fence and one of the other boarders tried to shoo them away with a longe whip (a blatantly bad idea, but at this point, it was either get rid of the mares or risk some chomps). Berky didn't react well to this, but everyone lived to tell about it. They tried to get in again, so I just dismounted and called it a ride.

We hadn't cooled out, so we went out the gate and I led him on a walk down the muddy road. He took it pretty well until we had the combined effect of mailboxes and barking dogs, at which point I got him to stand still and listen and turned back for the barn. I was walking him through the shallow puddles and came across one that looked a few inches deep. It came up to my knees. We sloshed through it anyways.

De-tack, more stretches, and then put him back in. Not the most eventful day in the world, but sometimes it's nice to be lazy.

Mmm... horse cookies!

I made a batch of "cookies" for Berk today- figured I may as well have them for our carrot stretches... (not that I'll be able to get out to the barn for at least two more days, considering my yard is even more flooded than it was last night). My family comes home and promptly starts eating the them. WTF? I mean, it can't hurt them, the cookies are made of grated carrot, molasses, flour, A LOT of corn oil, and peppermint, but.......eew.

Anyways, still waiting for the blasted floodwaters to recede. In the meantime, I'm downloadin' me some Raison d'Etre, Red Lorry Yellow Lorry, and Swans....aww yeah. Finished up the last of the finals too-summer, here I come!