Rhapsody in Bay: My equitation has suffered

Oooh yeah. Intermediate group lessons with Allanah start Tuesday, evidently not a day too soon. Berky and I were going to do some grids today, so we were just cantering, lalala, all peaceful like, and then I thought, "Ok, we need to half-halt. We're getting strung out." No. Brakes. WTF? He's usually so good!
Ergh.

So after six or seven strides of "te-rrot" accompanied by half-halts, we shifted down a gear, trotted a 20 m circle, and tried again. No better. Oh, I was aggravated. Repeat this seven or eight times, and he finally got the message. Oh, and my parents were taking photos, most of which featured me with a collapsed inside hip and wonky facial expression and Berk waaay out in orbit above the bit. Excellent.

So we have a 21" crossrail set up that I was going to trot and canter over. Something tiny to build up my confidence and that wouldn't stress him out too much. Well, he's plenty scopy, is all I can say about that. The first time, we took it from a fuddy-duddy working trot, and he few over it. Second time, I tried to ride him to a little bit deeper place. He took a HUGE long spot, I got left behind, and we cantered off. Great. Last time around, I try to just let him take the striding and get into two-point six or seven strides out. Just let him figure it out and keep me off his back, right?

So the problem with a horse that usually shows 3'9, especially when their being ridden by a greenie with confidence issues, is that they evidently jump everything like it's 3'9, i.e. with their knees to their eyeballs and a good two feet of clearance at least. Or at least Berkshire did today. The last attempt was by far the worst. Somehow, I still managed to get caught by surprise, he frikking LAUNCHED,and I literally ended up cantering around on his neck. He was unphased. My dad was yelling, "Heels down! Sit up!" which was really ironic, considering I had my arms wrapped around his neck and had no contact with the saddle whatsoever.

Both of us survived, somehow, and when I finally stopped him and got off, he gave me this look like, "What's the matter? We were just starting to have fun." Well,at least he's tolerant....

We ended up putting a halter on him, setting up an impromptu jumping chute with the offending crossrail, and longeing him over it until he got the idea that, "Hey, this thing isn't as big as I thought it was. I can get away with...less! than my biggest effort." One of the few times I was ever pleased when a horse got lazy.

Anyways, lessons will be sooo helpful. Embarassing, because most of the group will get to see me ride like crap, but helpful. I had made a lot of headway up until Sammie's lameness, but I kind of lost most of it when I went six weeks without riding seriously, much less jumping. Either way, some instruction will be welcome.

Most of these make me want to yell, "HEELS! HEELS! And give him some rein! GOD!" at the top of my lungs. Oh yes, and they feature the weird tie-die shirt that makes me look huge and I would never be caught dead in. Fun, fun.

Huge trot. WAYY above the bit. *Sigh*